Thursday, November 22, 2012

Humour:That's the reality of life



That's the reality of life

God created the donkey and said, you will work forever
tirelessly around the clock, you will carry weight on your back, eat
grass you have no intelligence, you will live 40 years.
The donkey answered: I will  be donkey, but living 40 years is too m
much.
God created the donkey and said'll  donkey, you will work forever
Tirelessly around the clock, you will carry weight on your back, eat green staff , you have no intelligence, you will live 40 years.
The donkey answered: I will donkey, but living 40 years is too much
Give me only 20 years. And God gave it.
God created the dog and said, look after the men's house, thou shall be
his best friend, you will eat the bones den. You will live 20 years.
The dog replied, Lord live 20 years is too much, give me only 10,
And God gave them.
God created the monkey and said: You will be monkey and jump from tree to tree by monads and amuse others. You will live 20 years.
The monkey said, monkey but I'll live 20 years is too; much  give me only 10 years. And God gave it.
Finally, God created man and said: You will be man, the only rational being on the face of the earth, you will use your intelligence
to get over to nature and animals, you will master the
World and you will live 30 years. The man answered, but I'll be man
Live 30 years is too short, give me the 20 years that the donkey rejection, the 10  of the dogs and 10 refused to accept not the monkey.
So God did: The man lives 30 years as a man, marries, and goes to live 20 years like a donkey, working and carrying all the weight on his shoulders, then retire and live 10 years like a dog
Caring for the home, then be 10 years old and live monkey, jumping
From a child's house to the house of another, doing tricks for
Entertain the grandchildren.

At what stage of your life  are you're living?

Humour:Communications distorted



Communications distorted

THE DIRECTOR-GENERAL  to MANAGER:
On Friday, at about 5 pm, Hall
Communications distorted
THE DIRECTOR-GENERAL MANAGER:
On Friday, at about 5 pm, Halley's Comet will appear in this area. This is an event that occurs every 78 years Please, bring all workers in the factory yard, with helmets, there I will explain the phenomenon. If it was raining, we will not see this rare show naked eye. In this case, all should go to the dining room where they showcase a documentary on Comet Halley.
AL MANAGER HRM:
By order of the Director General, on Friday at 5 pm will appear on the factory, if it rains, Comet Halley. Gather all personnel with safety helmets and take to the dining room, where there will be a rare phenomenon that happens every 78 years to the naked eye.

HUMAN RESOURCES DIRECTOR OF THE CHIEF OF STAFF:
At the request of the Director General, the scientist Halley of 78 years old, will appear naked in the dining room of the factory on Friday at 5 in the afternoon wearing a helmet, it will be presented a documentary on the problem of rain and Manager will show in the courtyard of the factory.

CHIEF OF STAFF TO THE HEAD OF TIME:
On Friday at 5 pm, the director, for the first time in 78 years, will appear in the dining room to film the documentary "Halley Nude", by the famous scientist and his team. Everyone should be with safety helmet because the documentary on the safety in rain.
TURN TO THE HEAD OF CHIEF BRIGADIER:
Everyone, without exception of one, must appear naked with security agents of the factory, in the courtyard of the same, this Friday at 5pm. The director will be accompanied by Halley, a very famous artist and his group, which showed the documentary "Dancing in the Rain". In case it rains really, go to the dining room wearing helmets. This happens every 78 years.

NOTICE ON BULLETIN BOARD:
FRIDAY MEETS THE GENERAL DIRECTOR 78, SO WILL BE GIVEN FREE WORLDWIDE WITHOUT ANYONE EXCEPT FOR THE PARTY TO BE HELD IN THE DINING ROOM AT 5PM WITH GROUP AND COMETS HALLEY. ALL MUST GO NAKED AND SECURITY USING CONDOMS BECAUSE LLOVERA AND WILL BE A TREMENDOUS PARTY IN factory yard.
ey's Comet will appear in this area. This is an event that occurs every 78 years Please, bring all workers in the factory yard, with helmets; there
I will explain the phenomenon. If it was raining, we will not see this rare show naked eye. In this case, all should go to the dining room where they showcase a documentary on Comet Halley.
MANAGER to   HRM:
By order of the Director General, on Friday at 5 pm will appear on the factory, if it rains, Comet Halley. Gather all personnel with safety helmets and take to the dining room, where there will be a rare phenomenon that happens every 78 years to the naked eye.

HUMAN RESOURCES to DIRECTOR OF THE CHIEF OF STAFF:
At the request of the Director General, the scientist Halley of 78 years old, will appear naked in the dining room of the factory on Friday at 5 in the afternoon wearing a helmet, it will be presented a documentary on the problem of rain and Manager will show in the courtyard of the factory.

CHIEF OF STAFF TO THE HEAD OF TIME:
On Friday at 5 pm, the director, for the first time in 78 years, will appear in the dining room to film the documentary "Halley Nude", by the famous scientist and his team. Everyone should be with safety helmet because the documentary on the safety in rain.
HEAD OF TIME TO THE HEAD OF CHIEF BRIGADIER:
Everyone, without exception of one, must appear naked with security agents of the factory, in the courtyard of the same, this Friday at 5pm. The director will be accompanied by Halley, a very famous artist and his group, which showed the documentary "Dancing in the Rain". In case it rains really, go to the dining room wearing helmets. This happens every 78 years.

NOTICE ON BULLETIN BOARD:
FRIDAY MEETS THE GENERAL DIRECTOR 78, SO WILL BE GIVEN FREE WORLDWIDE WITHOUT ANYONE EXCEPT FOR THE PARTY TO BE HELD IN THE DINING ROOM AT 5PM WITH GROUP AND COMETS HALLEY. ALL MUST GO NAKED AND SECURITY USING CONDOMS   WLLL RAIN AND WILL BE A TREMENDOUS PARTY INTHE FACTORY YARD..

Humour: Comparison of world governments



Brief summary comparison of world governments


1. Feudalism: You have two cows; your feudal lord takes some of the milk and gives you a place to live.
2. 2. Pure Socialism: You have two cows, the government puts them in a pen with all others and tell you  to care them and gives you a glass of milk.
3. Bureaucratic Socialism: Your cows are cared for by caregivers of hens  and put uou  to look after the chickens that they are caring for your  cows. The government gives you as much milk and eggs as the regulations of the country dictates that you need.
4. Fascism: You have two cows; the government takes, forces  you to take care of them and sells you  the milk.
5. Pure Communism: You share your cows with the neighbors, and among their neighbors vote for who is best suited to care for the cows, who has more need of milk, and who has less. Meanwhile no one works, no one receives, and cows are starving to dead.
6. Russian Communism: You have two cows,  and you care both  but the government takes  all the milk, you steal all the milk you can sell on the black market.
7. Petroiska: You have two cows, and you care both  but the mafia steals  the milk and you also steal all the milk   that you  can to sell on the open market.
8. Cambodian Communism: You have two cows; the government takes them and kills you.
9.
Dictatorship: You have two cows, the government takes them and you go to prison.
10. Pure Democracy: You have two cows, but before the government regulates everything that you have to feed and when they should be milked, then take the cows, shoots one and milks the other, but throws the milk, and then makes filling out forms and papers to find the lost cow.
11. Capitalism: You have two cows, the government does not help at all, and the bank does not give a penny, because you have no cow.
12.
Anarchy: You have two cows, sell one, buy a bull and build a party.
13. Mercantilism: You have two cows, but cannot sell because the sale is legislated, and does not sell in the black market or take it all.
14. Republican: You have two cows, the government tells you to do and nobody pays any attention to the government for anything and your two cows die.
15.
Cuban Communism: You have two cows and the government takes both cows to tend to put it, but there is nothing to be fed and nourished  and only give  a daily a glass of milk and the government says they produce more than anywhere in the world.

Tuesday, November 20, 2012

Narration:Egypt against the Hebrews: 3



Narration: The conflict in Egypt against the Hebrews: 3

Series: My trips back

By Ruben Vernal

When one is an outsider in these parts are not readily apparent political changes that occur internally. As we were only a short time in Memphis recently when we arrived at Thebes, we find that it already happened Memphis as capital, having been for over a thousand years, the capital of ancient Egypt, pharaoh’s residence, sacred city and home of the high priests of his god Amun. Thebes, the ancient city Uaset called "the city of the scepter", and was the magnificence of the city of Thebes which was sung by Homer, who called it "the city of a hundred doors" in the 'Iliad', his great poem epic, "by numerous open in its walls.
I was beginning to realize that in Egypt there was a sort of struggle between several major cities as the capital of the kingdom. I think the country's bureaucracy motivated this movement. Also note that many pharaohs history tended to appoint capital to the places where they were born and developed militarily or politically.
We were in Thebes after 15 hours' sailing on the Nile But that name is known to two different cities: one that is Greek and the other Egyptian.
Thebes is a city in Greece, situated to the north of the Cithaeron mountain range that separates Boeotia from Attica, and on the southern edge of the Boeotian plain. It was located 48 kilometers northwest of Athens. And it is the largest city in that region. But the city's name is Uaset.
 Its geographical location contributed greatly to the historical importance of the city to be located on both sides of the river Nile near Nubia and the eastern desert.

Be absorbed in the beauty of this great city, and that is why I would love to meet .
But also motivated me a lot to know that the cities of Memphis and Thebes were named on the Bible, which for me I consider as my important historical source. Then later  I will make you know that's what she says about these two cities.
The city of Thebes is developed along flat ground about two kilometers long that connects the temples of Karnak, north of the city, south of Luxor.
The fame of the city is such that it attended by people from all places in search of trade and goods come from the Persian Gulf and the Red Sea through the path Koptos in Africa, following the course of the Nile; routes and desert and oasis, caravans from the Sahara. Homer said that it had accumulated a great wealth exceeded only by the sands of their surroundings. Thebes is a dynamic city with artisan neighborhoods, an active river port and a market to supply the population daily. On the east bank of the Nile, where the sun rises, the pharaohs built their temples of life and funerary monuments, on the western side, where it gets. While exploring the city we strolled witness the celebration of the Feast of Opet, where the whole town comes out to see the procession carrying their gods Amun, Mut and Khonsu alongside in their boats from the sacred temple of Karnak to the Luxor. But I realized that the people played a very minor role in the cult. They could not see straight to the statues of the gods and could only enjoy his presence in processions and parties.

 Even is the religious center of ancient Egypt, but the mandated transition Ramses years ago is already in operation. As I said before most of the Egyptian population were peasants and lived in small villages near the banks of the Nile The houses were very simple and were built first with reeds and mud and later with sun-dried adobe. The houses had only one floor and the roof was flat. The furniture was sparse. Large cities were scarce and its main function was to be the place of residence of the king and the nobles as the case of Memphis and Thebes. Pharaoh's palace stood out from all the buildings and was distributed around the homes of the rich the powerful. These buildings in the city of Thebes are much stronger because it uses wooden structures with stone walls and foundations also polished stone houses were decorated according to social status. But preferences were built with the same tone or color of stone with wood and stone. Inside the furniture is very fiend brought from elsewhere in Asia. The city streets were relatively wide, with the great view of the Nile across town, with beautiful palm trees and other varieties located along the riverbed. Facing the city you can see a row of small hills that surround it. If you walk through its streets you appreciate certain pharaohs statues, houses of worship as well as stone sinks species gardens were watered using irrigation canals that brought water from the Nile
The sphinxes were a sculptural representations of the Egyptians. With lion body and human head, were a symbol of royalty and his head used to be the reigning Pharaoh, but also representing the gods, in this case with animal heads. Were placed in various places, but mostly flanking the avenues to the temples.

 Overall the city seemed to be set in an oasis, because everything was green for the variety of vegetation. The market town located in the city center offering a variety of foods. But the port was not far removed in one part of the Nile where it had all the facilities for the transportation of cargo and passengers.
Note that as the pharaoh whole empire belonged, was very well organized the collection of taxes that all residents should pay for using public services were also a species of medical centers, where people could go for medical help. As the Egyptians had specialized in the process of mummifying their dead, had some knowledge for the preservation of human tissue, so they knew some basic principles of medicine and also the use of medicinal herbs.
Ephraim had contacted an Egyptian scribe named Nefertiti, who was of Jewish origin and was also named Nahum. The interest was to learn that I know came from Rhodes only for cultural reasons in order to make known in Greece the magnificence of this great empire. He invited us to visit one of the temples of the city due to the close friendship he had with the priest of the temple caretaker. We invite you first to the temple and then went to dinner at his house. Ephraim took us to the temple where we expected Nefertiti at the front door.
The gods lived in temples that the pharaohs had built for them. The priests were responsible for their care and only the pharaohs had access to them.
Inside was acceded to an open courtyard surrounded by sphinxes carved colored stones and then to a richly furnished room. Finally we came to the shrine, where, in an atmosphere of gloom, they stored the statue of the god. The people could only enter the courtyard, officials and nobles to the room and only the pharaoh and the priests, to the sanctuary.
Currently worships the god Ptah who appears in the form of an ox, and Ra, the sun god
after being oratory to see both mysticism, paganism class, we went to his house where we gave a splendid dinner. After having had an interesting conversation as desktops, Nefifirriti, who is a person could consider cone well educated, told us one last story, as a dessert and farewell
He started well: Then something unexpected happened here. As a gale irrum East ¬ chirp foreign peoples, came from a region of Asia, were warriors armed with bows and arrows, rode horses and came with chariots, and with their families and household utensils. They took by surprise the two frontier forts and invasions ¬ Egyptians gave the country. Men were bold and swift as lightning. They killed men, raped women, burned temples and palaces, robbed and plundered, flooded throughout Egypt, and became rulers of the ancient kingdom of the Nile were the Hyksos, the "lords of foreign lands."

While their dominance began with a terrible slaughter, brought the country a valuable gift: the horse, unknown in Egypt until now. Work animals, saddle and load were the donkey and camel. The horse quickly conquered the hearts of people of Asia Minor. The noble stallion is proud to today's Arab and Saudi never used the horse as a work animal.

The Hyksos used them to move their tanks, metal trim; they often determined the outcome of the war.
The Hyksos usurped the throne of the Pharaohs and ruled from there not only to Egypt, but also part of Canaan to Mesopotamia and thus provided another service to Egypt. During a period spanning almost 1500 years, the Egyptians lived in proud isolation, in a kind of splendid isolation, as if they were behind an iron curtain. This curtain was broken, and the country was opened and began an active cultural exchange with other civilized countries of the Euphrates and the Tigris.

After 150 long years ended the rule of the Hyksos. A territorial prince in Upper Egypt expelled from the country and returned Egypt to the Egyptians. From that moment began a new period of flowering, which culminated under Ramses I who died so suddenly rose to power our current king Ramses II.

Egypt, which had been a state of staff, gradually became a military state that went to war, realized gains and extended its domain to the east. Strangely, with the power of the warriors simultaneously increased the power of the priests. The military state became a state of priests: Pharaoh Smedes, a former priest of the sun god Ra.
After the splendid meeting Nefertiti accompanied us to the door to say goodbye and I reiterate my promise to let know everything heard on my return home.
Then we organized our visit to the temples of Luxor and Karmak on the east bank of the Nile Luxor Temple, located in the heart of ancient Thebes, was built under essentially the eighteenth and nineteenth Egyptian dynasties. It was dedicated to the god Amon under his two aspects of Amun-Ra. The temple was neglected, even abused during the reign of Pharaoh "heretic" Akhenaten. Work recommenced under Tutankhamun and Ay, who finished decorating the walls of the column processional, adding scenes especially the registration of the Feast of Opet. Highlight the great column Amenofisis III
Ramses II, the other major builder in Thebes, added the pylon, whose square was adorned with six colossi of Ramses II himself, four standing and two sitting, all with his name, and two obelisks, and a second courtyard with porticoes.
The Temple of Luxor is the complement of the great southern temple of Amun at Karnak, to the extent that was dedicated to the Theban religious chiatry but, above all, the progenitor of the dynastic god Ka represented under the aspect of Amun-Min.
Located just over a mile from each other, the two temples were united by a dromos seven hundred lined ram-headed sphinxes and stations or chapels where they stopped the boats of the Theban triad on the great Feast of Opet was ceremonial sphinxes adorned with human face (androesfinges) side of Luxor temple. The dromos was the main link that crossed the city from north to south, dividing it into a western suburb bordering the Nile where was the port, the neighborhoods and the artisans, and probably eastern residential neighborhood that lay between the great temples and shrines contained numerous scattered along the cobbled streets
to draw squares  the big city.
The ceremony was led by Pharaoh, who also chaired the eternal renewal cycle symbolized by the arrival of the swollen Nile Dromos name, is also a name given to a street procession, usually lined with sphinxes, extending toward the outside the axis of a temple ritual to link to another temple or a pier of the Nile

Also highlighted the obelisks which is a stone monument shaped pillar, square sections, with four trapezoidal faces alike, slightly convergent, finished top in a small pyramid called  big pyramid  Usually erected on a stone base prismatic. Ancient obelisks were carved from a single block of stone (monoliths). The first of which the news was dating at the time of Userkaf, Pharaoh of Dynasty V of Egypt (c. 2500 BC. C.). It is unknown how these great monuments were erected, as there is no documentation describing the method used Egyptian.
We returned to the city of Thebes with my travel companions prepare to return to the Nile in the direction of that city.
It was a few hours to reach our destination, and on my desk in my cabin check my travel notes saying that during the nineteenth dynasty of Egypt, Avaris regained its past glory when Pharaoh Ramses II founded his new capital in the old place. The city was called Pi-Ramesses Aa-najtu which means "House / Domain of Ramses, Great in victories."
The government decision to transfer his residence from Thebes and the north end may have been motivated by geopolitical reasons. The eastern vassal states of Egypt are located much closer to the border and with the hostile Empire Palestine. Diplomats and information more quickly reach the pharaoh. The main body of the army was also stationed in the city and could be mobilized quickly.
The city was built on the ruins of a village which had been taken by the Hyksos. After this capture, the Hyksos adequately fortified city and ruled the country using technology never before seen by the ancient Egyptians, namely: the compound bow, scale armor, daggers and swords bronze curves, the use of the horse and chariots at the end of his reign. The settlement covered an area of
​​about two square kilometers.
Ahmose founder of the eighteenth dynasty captured Avaris just before the Hyksos were finally expelled from Egypt. During his reign erected a palace, built partly of brick citadel of the Hyksos, who seem to have been used as a royal residence. The palace area was used until the reign of Amenhotep III and possibly to the time of Ramses II. The town seems that was abandoned after the expulsion of the Hyksos, although it may have been repopulated during the nineteenth dynasty and, at the time, should have taken the name of Pi-Ramses. She thrived for a century and wrote poems about splendor, saying that once had 300,000 inhabitants. The city of Rameses is mentioned five times in the Bible.
I repeat that the Bible as a historical document is also extremely important and helps us to better elucidate the mysteries of the past. Thus, the information provided from 1 Samuel to 2 Chronicles tells the story of Israel covering nearly five centuries of the history of that time. I assume you also like history as key subject knowledge. I only intend to tell on my trips back, all the events that took place in these places. So if the Bible somehow the names, I will not let either do so because it is a historical source that has never been refuted. Many may doubt their faith and spiritual message, which is another matter which no development in these narratives.
So keep in mind that it was the Greeks who invented history.
Indeed, the Greek genius, he was able to create the Philosophy, was also the creator of something so useful and at the same time as exciting as history.
But, why the Greeks called the story "History"? Simply because this word was what came closest to this new reality had just created. Indeed, the Greek term meaning Cartoon witness and can also be translated as the seer was used to define this new reality called history.
Herodotus of Halicarnassus, which Cicero described as the father of history, believed that history should be understood as "inquiry, and searching " about past events. In short, history is named after the concept used by the Greeks to refer to the person who sees something, the witness. Thus, history came to be for the ancient Greeks the witness of the ancient human events. And that's why I like to read what the Bible says about the activities of men, because they are written by people as eyewitnesses. As I said before, I think now need to make you know what the end historic cities of Memphis and Thebes, in order to have a knowledge of their initiation, grandeur and decay, which accompanies every civilization.
The God of the Bible used his prophets to to pass on his will on his people's future, and this is the case of the prophet Ezekiel. There seems to be few more charming and fascinating countries like Ancient Egypt. Ezekiel prophesied about many cities in this country, but I will limit myself only to Memphis and Thebes I have visited and of whom the prophet declared by aƱos592 AC-570 the following:
Thus saith the Lord also destroy the pictures, and destroy the idols of Memphis, and there will be no more a prince of the land of Egypt and in the land of Egypt I will fear.
14 to Pathros desolate, and will set fire to Zoan, and will execute judgments on Thebes.
15 And I will pour my fury upon Sin, the strength of Egypt, and cut off the multitude of Thebes.
16 And I will set fire in Egypt: Sin shall have great pain, and will be destroyed Thebes and Memphis will have distresses daily. Ezekiel 30:13-16
It is known that Memphis was founded by Menes and that there were established the first rules for the worship of the gods and the temple service and it is true that a city was regarded with deep veneration. We can see the high value was given to idols and images from the early history of Memphis. She as the capital of Middle Egypt of his time was a stronghold of the idols. And although there is no record that King Nebuchadnezzar of Babylon had destroyed, we know from Herodotus that Cambyses took to Pelusium, the key input to Egypt, standing in front of his army dogs, cats and all that was held sacred in Egypt; so that the Egyptians did not use their weapons against them. Destroyed the sacred ox Apis, and burned other idols of Egypt. He fixed Urquhart scholar invasion in 525 BC, after the prophecy had been uttered.
This of your occupation and subsequent destruction is nothing strange in the context of biblical prophecies, because Jehovah (another name for God) drastically opposed to idolatry. In considering the proximity to Memphis in the time of Christ and consider the prophecies against them, they appeared to be impossible to accomplish. The l historian Strabo saw Memphis as the second city after Alexandria in terms of size. But with the founding of Cairo, near, Memphis began to decline around the seventh century AD. Parts of Memphis began to be removed and transplanted, even when it seemed that the city never completely disappears. A traveler of the thirteenth century, called Abdul-Latiff, declare that a considerable portion of Memphis still remained to be seen because they were still standing a collection of wonderful works. But surprisingly it is so little of a city that was so majestic. And much of what remains, hardly worth looking at, being what it is so little that can be easily made a list of everything.
Hard to believe that there has ever flourished a great city of antiquity.
The history of Thebes was different, because judgments against Thebes were so strong that historians inadvertently submitted fulfillments of prophecies given against him. Two large "hammer" Thebes had to smash the ground, none of which occurred before the prediction. Ezekiel lived during the reign of Nebuchadnezzar, and 113 years after the king was gone and the Persians were the dominant empire, Cambieses (525 BC) invaded Egypt and Thebes beating the helpless so that caused much damage as he could someone who hated to do too much.
Burned the temples and sought to destroy the colossal statues. Thebes quickly recovered from this tragedy, but a very bad wound that will never be freed.
 But then came the fall of the second shot in the century before Christ but still she remained among major cities in the area as far as finances are concerned.
However, around the year 89 B.C. the city was besieged for three long years and after that Thebes finally fell into an eternal oblivion because after the site was completely destroyed, thus fulfilling the prophecy of Ezekiel 30:13-16
His multitude of inhabitants was virtually destroyed and never recovered.
Diodorus Siculo around 50 BC Thebes who was ruined and I admire because of the religious significance even in this state; saw the grandeur and grace of it: Its circumference was 2,800 kilometers of walls 7 feet thick by 20 meters tall and riches were the product of the art manufacturing many previous monarchies.
There are records that Strabo visited the city in 25 BC who declared that the city was divided into multiple townships, which remains way in modern times, divided and disunited.
It looks amazing and phenomenal observe that prophecy even stipulate the condition in which he had to remain forever.
To contrast the two cities must remember: Thebes would be divided and people exterminated. Memphis would see their idols destroyed, which means also virtually exterminated.
Now if we compare Memphis to Thebes, where idols are still in great quantity, and where the images are still on the walls of the temples, the wonder of fulfilled prophecy is even more surprising.
How did it happen that the prophecies concerning the two cities were not changed?
How it happened that among the ruined cities in Egypt, Memphis was selected for the peculiar fate that their idols were destroyed?
The prophecy concerning the absence of a native prince of Egypt has been completely fulfilled. Obviously, the prediction is not intended to be anarchy forever, but the government would be led by foreigners. The Persians took to Egypt the year 525 BC remain in this country as a renegade province for 170 years.
In 350 BC Ochus finally crushed Egypt, and from then on have been foreigners who have controlled the government. The rulers have succeeded each other, but the leader never been native.
My travel plans had changed because he had stopped visiting other provinces in Egypt because I could not wait to get to this key city of my story and to witness the great confrontation between Moses and Pharaoh Ramses that my companions and all captive Jews in Egypt did not expect this would happen.
I'll tell you late at the final chapter.