Monday, October 13, 2014

Humour: Mafalda

The best quotes of "Mafalda

Mafalda is a cartoon Argentina cartoonist Joaquín Salvador Lavado, "Quino". Besides being one of the Latin American comics who traveled the world, also has the peculiarity that the bullets you can find reflections on life and fun and witty phrases that say different characters.

   1 Neither my father nor my teacher would sleep soundly knowing that instill things that do not work. "
   2 "Life is good, the problem is that many confuse cute with easy."
3 "Hands up those who are sick of seeing the world run with your feet!"
   4 "checks your jokes do not have funds in the bank of my mind."
   5 "Working for a living But why this life you have to earn to waste in working for a living?"
6 "Life should not deprive one child without first giving a good position in the youth."
   7 "All I know is that the birds do not require stairs to nowhere."
"The trouble with mass media is that not leave us time to communicate with us."
8 "I am beginning to suspect that when the teacher asks a question, it's not because she does not know."
"One thing is an independent country and the other a slope In country."
9 "Admitting you are wrong is the harakiri Pride."
"I do not know if I chose a bad time or a bad century to try to communicate ..."
10 "would be nice to wake up one day and find that the life of one, up to you."
"What if before doing what we have to do, start with what we should have done?"
   "As we continue so, this country is going to go abroad."
11 "Do not leave for tomorrow to try to fit him to another you have to do today."
  12 "What is behind the progress."
   13 "The Almanac is the bureaucracy of the time."
   14 "Start the day with a smile, you'll see how fun it is to go out there with everyone off key."
   15 "It's funny, you close your eyes and the world disappears."
"16 Would not it be lovely if the world libraries are more important than the banks?"
17 "I do not know how people would if I had to go back."
   18 "The cow is nothing but an intermediary between the grass and us."
  19 "We sound, boys!
Turns out that if one does not hurry to change the world, then the world is the one that changes!"
20 "In this world everyone has their own small or big concern."
   21 "There is no goodness, what happens is you are incognito."
   22 "The newspapers are full of bad news and why no one returns."
  23 "Not everyone going to school in the village of vocation."
  24 "The man has slowly been achieving unleash their freedom restricted."
25 "I trust, you trust, he trusts, trust us, you confiáis..Qué sleeve naive right?"
26 "Well, and how does one stick a band-aid in the soul?"
"Tell me ... what I can do with such an interesting personality as mine?"
27 "Never need someone to spare."
"Of course money is not everything, there are the checks."
   28. "" Good night world, but beware, that there are many irresponsible awake. "
   29 "Frankly I do not know what I would do without me."
"Are you not that this modern life is having more modern than life?"
   30 "is not a question of breaking the structures, but knowing what to do with the pieces."
   "The trouble with being a boy is that one ends up telling his life in two kicks."
  31 "Half a world likes dogs and to this day no one knows what to say Wow."

Famous Scientists Who Believed in God

Famous Scientists Who Believed in God
by Rich Deem
Believe in God? Is belief in God irrational?
These days, many famous scientists are also strong proponents of atheism.
However, in the past and even today, many scientists believe that God exists and who is responsible for what we see in nature. This is a small sample of scientists who collaborated on the development of modern science while believing in God.
1 Nicolaus Copernicus (1473-1543)
Copernicus was the Polish astronomer who put forward the first mathematically based system of planets revolving around the sun. He attended various European universities, and became a Canon in the Catholic Church in 1497 His new system was actually first presented in the Vatican gardens in 1533 before Pope Clement VII who approved, and urged Copernicus to publish it around that time. Copernicus was never under any threat of religious persecution - and was urged to publish it by Catholic Bishop Guise, Cardinal Schonberg, and the Protestant Professor George Rheticus. Copernicus referred sometimes to God in his various works, and saw his system in conflict with the Bible.
2 Sir Fancisco Bacon (1561-1627)
Bacon was a philosopher who is known for establishing the scientific method of inquiry based on experimentation and inductive reasoning. In De Naturae Interpretatione Prooemium, Bacon established his goals as the discoverer of truth, home server, and server to church. Although his work was based upon experimentation and reasoning, he rejected atheism as being the result of insufficient depth of philosophy, stating, "It's true that a little philosophy inclines man's mind to atheism, but depth in philosophy bringeth men's minds to religion: for while the mind of man looketh upon second causes scattered, it may sometimes rest in them and go no further, but when it beholdeth the chain of them confederate, and linked together, it must needs fly to Providence and Deity. "
3 Johannes Kepler (1571-1630)
Kepler was a brilliant mathematician and astronomer. He did early work on light, and established the laws of planetary motion about the sun. He also came close to reaching the Newtonian concept of universal gravity - well before Newton was born! His introduction of the idea of force in astronomy changed radically in a modern direction. Kepler was an extremely sincere and pious Lutheran, whose works on astronomy contain writings about how space and the heavenly bodies represent the Trinity.Kepler suffered no persecution for his open avowal of the sun, set and was allowed as a Protestant to stay in Catholic Graz as a Professor (1595-1600) when other Protestants had been expelled!
4 Galileo Galilei (1564-1642)
Galileo is often remembered for his conflict with the Roman Catholic Church.
His controversial work on the solar system was reported in 1633 had no proofs of a sun-centered system (Galileo's telescope discoveries did not indicate a moving earth) and his one "proof" based on the tides was invalid . Ignored the correct elliptical orbits of planets published twenty five years earlier by Kepler. Since his work finished by putting the Pope's favorite argument in the dialogue at the mouth of simpleton, the Pope (an old friend of Galileo's) was very offended. After the "trial" and being forbidden to teach the sun-centered system, Galileo did his most useful theoretical work, which was on dynamics. Galileo expressly said that the Bible can not err, and saw his system as an alternate interpretation of biblical texts.
5 René Descartes (1596-1650)
Descartes was a French mathematician, scientist and philosopher who has been called the father of modern philosophy. His school studies made
​​him dissatisfied with previous philosophy: He had a deep religious faith as a Roman Catholic, he held until his dying day, along with a resolute, passionate desire to discover the truth. At age 24 I had a dream, and felt the vocational call to seek to bring knowledge together in one system of thought. His system began by asking what could be known if all else were doubted - suggesting the famous "I think, therefore I am." In fact, it is often forgotten that the next step for Descartes was to establish the near certainty of the existence of God - for only if God both exists and does not want us to be deceived by our experiences - can we trust our senses and the logical thought processes.
God is, therefore, fundamental to all philosophy. What I really wanted to see was that his philosophy be adopted as standard Roman Catholic teaching. René Descartes and Francis Bacon (1561-1626) are generally respected as key figures in the development of scientific methodology. Both had systems in which God was important, and both seem more devout than the average for their age.
6 Isaac Newton (1642-1727)
In optics, mechanics, and mathematics, Newton was a figure of undisputed genius of innovation. In all his science (including chemistry) he saw mathematics and numbers as center. What is less known is that he was devoutly religious and saw numbers as involved in God's plan for history from the Bible. He made a considerable work on biblical numerology, and, though aspects of his beliefs were not orthodox, he thought theology was very important. In his system of physics, God is essential to the nature and absoluteness of space. In principia said, "The most beautiful system of the sun, planets, and comets, could only proceed from the counsel and dominion of an intelligent and powerful Being."
7 Robert Boyle (1791-1867)
One of the founders and early members of the Royal Society, Boyle gave his name to "Boyle's Law" for gases, and also wrote an important work on chemistry.
The Encyclopedia Britannica says of him: "By his will elaborate a series of Boyle lectures, or sermons, which still continue, 'for proving the Christian religion against notorious infidels ....' As a devout Protestant, Boyle took a special interest in promoting the Christian religion abroad, giving money to translate and publish the New Testament into Irish and Turkish. In 1690 he developed his theological views in The Christian Virtuoso, which he wrote to show that the study of nature was a central religious duty. "Boyle wrote against atheists in his day (the notion that atheism is a modern invention is a myth ), and was clearly much more devoutly Christian than the average in his era.
8 Michael Faraday (1791-1867)
Michael Faraday was the son of a blacksmith who became one of the greatest scientists of the nineteenth century. His work on electricity and magnetism not only revolutionized physics, but led to much of our lifestyles today that rely on them (including computers and telephone lines and websites). Faraday was a devoutly Christian member of the Sandemanians, which significantly influenced him and strongly affected the way in which he approached and interpreted nature. Originating from Presbyterians, the Sandemanians rejected the idea of state churches, and tried to return to a type of New Testament Christianity.
9 Gregor Mendel (1822-1884)
Mendel was the first to lay the mathematical foundations of genetics, in what came to be called "Mendelianism". He began his research in 1856 (three years before Darwin published his Origin of Species) in the garden of the monastery where he was a monk. Mendel was elected abbot of the monastery in 1868 His work remained comparatively unknown until the turn of the century, when a new generation of botanists began finding similar results and "rediscovered" (although his ideas were not identical to yours). An interesting idea in the 1860's was notable for formation of X - club, which was dedicated to lessening religious influences and propagating an image of "conflict" between science and religion. One sympathizer was Darwin's cousin, Francis Galton, whose scientific interest was in genetics (a proponent of eugenics - selective breeding among humans to "improve" the stock). He was writing how the "priestly mind" was not conducive to science while, at around the same time, an Austrian monk was making the breakthrough in genetics. The rediscovery of Mendel's work came too late to affect Galton's contribution.
10 William Thomson Kelvin (1824-1907)
Kelvin was foremost among the small group of British scientists who helped to lay the foundations of modern physics. His work covered many areas of physics, and was told I had more credentials than anyone else in the community of nations, since he received numerous honorary degrees from European universities, who recognized the value of their work. He was a very committed Christian, who was certainly more religious than the average for their age. Interestingly, his fellow physicists George Gabriel (1819-1903) and James Clerk Maxwell (1831-1879) were also men of deep Christian commitment, in an era when many were nominal, apathetic, or anti-Christian. The Encyclopedia Britannica says "Maxwell is regarded by most modern physicists as the scientist of the nineteenth century had the largest physics of XX century influence, he is ranked with Sir Isaac Newton and Albert Einstein for the fundamental nature of his contributions. "Lord Kelvin was an Old Earth creationist, who estimated the Earth's age between 20 million and 100 million years, with an upper limit at 500 million years based on cooling rates (a calculation under approximate attributable to their lack of knowledge on gene heating radius).
11 Max Planck (1858-1947)
Planck made
​​many contributions to physics, but was best known for quantum theory, which revolutionized our understanding of atomic and subatomic worlds. In his 1937 lecture "Religion and Science," Planck expressed the view that God was everywhere present, and held that "the holiness of the unintelligible Godhead was conveyed by the holiness of symbols." Atheists, he thought, attach too much importance to what are merely symbols. Planck was a person who assisted the churchwarden from 1920 until his death, and believed in an almighty and omniscient, beneficent God (though not necessarily a personal one). Both science and religion wage a "tireless fight against skepticism and dogmatism, against unbelief and superstition" with the goal "toward God!"
12 Albert Einstein (1879-1955)
Einstein is probably the best known and most highly revered scientist of the twentieth century, and is associated with major revolutions in our thinking about time, gravity, and the conversion of matter into energy (E = mc2).
Although never coming to belief in a personal God, he recognized the impossibility of a universe not created. The Encyclopedia Britannica says of him: "Firmly denying atheism, Einstein expressed a belief in Spinoza's God who reveals Himself in the harmony of what exists." This actually motivated his interest in science, as he once mentioned it to a young physicist: "I want to know how God created this world, I'm not interested in this or that phenomenon, in the spectrum of this or that element I want to know. his thoughts, the rest are details. "The famous epithet on the "uncertainty principle" Einstein was "God does not play dice" - and to him this was a real statement about a God in whom he believed. A famous saying that his was "Science without religion is lame, religion without science is blind."
With affection,

Humour:Short stories

Short stories

Confessions of an ugly Guy

I was so ugly when I was born, the doctor asked where the camera was hidden. It was so ugly when I was born, doctor threw me into the air and said, "If it flies is a bat" and then threw me in the water and said, "If swims its crocodile". It was so ugly when I was born; the doctor gave me the slap in the face. He then went to the waiting room and said to my father: "We did what we could ... but born alive", and instead of congratulating my dad hit him. It was so ugly that my mother when I was born, I did not know if it was a miscarriage or a joke. Even my mom did not know whether to stay with me or the placenta. As it was early I was put in an incubator ... with tinted windows. It was so ugly when I was born I did not cry cried but the doctor, my dad and my mom! My mother never gave me his chest because said she just wanted me as a friend, so instead of giving me her chest, was the back. It was so ugly that after 3 months I learned to walk, because nobody raised me. It was so ugly when I was little, caressing me with a branch.
 It was an ugly child, but so ugly that one day my mom took me camping and at night, coyotes seized bonfires to keep not near me. It was so ugly that when I played hides and seeks anyone looking for me. I was born so ugly as a child, at night, my "guardian angel" slept in the next room. I was always very furry: my mother always asked: "Madam, your child wills he bore or wove" My father carried in his wallet photo of the child that came when he bought it. I soon realized that my parents hated me, for my bath toys were a radio and toaster. Once I was lost, and asked the police if he thought we were going to find my parents; he replied: "I do not know, there are plenty of places where they could be hidden." It was so ugly that I exhibited at a show by phone. It was so ugly that when I woke up, the sun went down. It was so ugly; I could not sleep, because when it came sleep, frightened. It was so ugly, I hurt your face. It was so ugly that mice ate me the document and left the photo.  When I went to the zoo the monkeys threw me cookies. My parents had to tie me a piece of meat to the neck so the dog will play with me.
 When I was kidnapped, the kidnappers sent one of my fingers to my parents for ransom.
 My mother replied that she wanted more proof. I had to work since childhood. I worked at a vet and people kept asking me how much it cost. One day a girl called my house saying, "Come to my house that no one" When I arrived there was no one, was so ugly that the psychiatrist had me lay face down psychiatrist once told me I was crazy.... I told him I wanted to get a second opinion. "Okay, well mad you are really ugly," he said. Once when I was going to kill myself pulling from the terrace of a building of 50 floors, was sent to a priest. give me some words of encouragement just said, "on your mark, get set ..." the last wish of my father before he died was that I sat on his lap he had been sentenced to the electric chair ... It was so ugly. But so ugly that when I sent my photo by e-mail, antivirus detected it. Was so ugly they looked at me twice because the first did not believe it. Was so ugly that turned Medusa into stone. Atop, I poured from the ghost train because "too scared." It was so ugly that frightened even the blind. Was so ugly that when I looked in the mirror, the mirror is moved aside. It was so ugly I did mourn onions. It was so ugly I threw a boomerang and it never returned more. It was so ugly that when I went to the bank, put out security cameras. It was so ugly that when I went to the house of terrors ... back with a job application. Yes, friends, I was so ugly, so ugly, that once a car hit me ... and I was better. And I am now, just ... ugly.

Waaateer pleaaase waaateerr

 A guy comes crawling through the desert, almost dead with his last strength asking:
-Water... Water ... water ... water  ...
Suddenly a tent in the desert appears, te fellow creeps as he can and tell the guy at the store:
-water give me water because I dying ...
The guy at the store says:
Mate I do not have water, but I sell ties ... look, look ... I have all colors, disney, Tasmanian devil, even with the face of Carlos Andres Chavez and embraced ...
The guy says:
-¡Wat ig wrong with you   waaaaterrr need! ...
The seller insists:

'I told  you again that I do not have water, but look at the ties, dirt cheap, and conformable accept card checks.
The dead guy almost repeats:

The seller says:
Well look, as 8 kilometers there is a restaurant, there maybe has water ... but, man, buy me a tie ... look, look.the beauty

The guy would not listen to it and crawled for a day ... Until finally spots a restaurant in the middle of the desert. Arrives and with his last strength and tells the front man :
-Waaatterrr ... I'm dying ... waaateerr
And the doorman says:

The front man says of course I can , give it water, but I you an not get in without a tie.

Letter of suicide
Next to the body of a suicide a covering letter saying found:
Honor: Do not blame anyone for my death; take my life because they lived two days would not know who I am on this sea of
​​tears, and it would be martyrdom. You see ... Mr. Judge.
I had the misfortune to marry a widow, she had a daughter, had I known, I would have never done.
My father, to the great misfortune was a widower, fell in love and married the daughter of my wife, so that my wife was mother of his father, my stepdaughter became my mother and my father while he was my son.
Soon my stepmother bore a male, it was my brother, but my wife was grandson so I was my grandfather's brother.
With the passage of time my wife bore a male, as was my mother's brother, was my father-in-law and uncle of their children.
My wife was mother of his daughter, I am, however my mother's father, and my father and his wife are my children; besides, I am my own grandfather.
Your Honor: I bid the world because I do not know who I am.

A distrefull wife

A couple was invited to a party masks and costumes. She very much had a headache and asks her husband to leave alone. He protested, but she told him she was going to take some aspirin and go to bed, so there was no need for him to stay in the house. So the husband put his costume and went. The woman, after an hour's sleep, woke up fine, no pain. As it was early decided go to the party. And as the husband did not know what her costume, she thought it would be fun to see how he acted when he was alone. She arrived at the party and then saw her husband on the dance floor with every girl he passed, playing a little here and throwing kisses there. The wife came to him and began to seduce him. He left the woman with whom he was and turned to the newcomer. She let him go as far as he wanted: it was finally her husband. At one point, he whispered a proposition in her ear and she agreed. They left the party and one of the cars had sex. At midnight, prior to unbinding, the lady slipped away, went home, took off his costume and got into bed, wondering what kind of explanation he would give the husband. When he entered, she was sitting in bed, reading.
- "How did it go?" He asked.
- "Well, as usual," he said. "You know I do not have a good time when I'm not with you."
- "You danced a lot?"
-.. "Not a single piece When I arrived, I met Peter, William and other guys, so we went upstairs and played poker all night What's not going to believe what happened to the guy who I loaned my costume! "